Reboot

I know I have been MIA for a very long time. I had a lot to work through. I endured a tumultuous breakup with a person I remained very close to (or so I thought). I found out only a few days ago that he is a pathological liar who put multiple people at risk to satisfy his ego. I spent years beating myself up for failng in my role as a quasi-stepmom to his kid and only now realize that I’m blameless – there was no way to function in a scenario with someone who is incapable of being honest and prioritizing the needs of others. I lost my beloved pet cat in the worst way imaginable, and then adopted another cat who is a bit of a fixer upper. (Luckily, a couple of animal fosters came to our rescue and made sure he and I managed through the worst of his rehabilitation. He is now a reformed alley cat who is living the good life.) Along with each of you, I endured the Trump years and the heinous division and vitriol that those years brought to our lives. I watched in disbelief as half the citizens in my country were led to believe conspiracies that are so far-fetched, had I seen them written in a fiction novel I would have considered the writing so amateurish that it would have been unworthy of the paper it was written on. I saw people use religion as an excuse for insidious hatred and violence. I saw communities making sweeping generalizations to cancel one another out, just for the sake of it. Trolls became a regular thing in our media channels – some of those trolls have jobs in congress. And, like all of us, I witnessed the pandemic of a century – one that is not over, I might add. I followed the rules and so far, I managed to get through the pandemic unscathed. People close to me were not so lucky. These have not been easy times. Add to that my own personal existentialism and I needed to go dark for a bit. 

Things have started to turn around and I want to reconnect with each of you. I have come out from a few years of inner conflict with an even stronger desire to make a difference – whether by giving you a little lift through my (sometimes too honest) writing or partnering with you to effect change in our society. By now we’re all well aware of the consequences of poor public health and I know I can help to be the change. I recently read The Premonition by Michael Lewis and got validation that scientists, engineers, and public health experts need to work together to find solutions. Despite a tendency to box people in – something I have encountered repeatedly in the corporate world - I now have evidence that this attitude fails us all. One perspective is not superior to another and well-roundedness is not a curse. So please, invite me in. I’m your L6. (If you haven’t read the book, there will be more about what “L6” means and how to identify that person in our midst.)

There have been some small personal victories since I last dropped you a line. While sheltering in place, I adopted another cat and I changed jobs. (I tend to change jobs often because it seems my creative thinking talent and passion for public health doesn’t fit neatly within the parameters of any one corporate role. But I still try. An L6 always tries to find her way.) A year or so prior to the pandemic, I was FINALLY started on Xolair to treat urticaria that turned into what looked and felt like a flesh-eating bacterial infection, and it just so happens the treatment provides the added benefit of controlling my asthma. I still carry pain throughout my body all day every day but being able to breathe and not being allergic to my entire existence has been a game changer. I introduced exercise into my daily routine and found that it has changed my mental outlook, for the most part. Some days it still seems hard to get out of bed, and the past few years have certainly brought bouts of trauma, but I’m overall way healthier mentally than I was when you last heard from me.

Of course, I have been vaccinated and that means over the past few weeks I have been able to see friends and some family without worrying about my fragile immune system (or theirs) making us susceptible to disease. I have lots to say about that but for now all I will say is that you should be vaccinated too. I have colleagues overseas who haven’t been as lucky as I am in the US to finally have the supply and distribution of extremely effective vaccines. Forget about the lotteries: get vaccinated because it’s the right thing for you and everyone else around you. And while we’re on the topic of public health, just as the pandemic started to heat up, I was accepted to graduate school (again). Yes, I have an AARP card registration sitting on my desk, but I decided it’s time shake things up. I’ll be going to Brown University to obtain a Master’s of Science in Health Leadership. I don’t yet know how I’ll pay for it, but for me it will be a very important milestone to obtain credentials that may lend some credence to what I already know about the disciplines of business innovation, public health, and policy. I deserve to be excavated from a lifetime of being constantly overlooked or dismissed.

And with some things in my life starting to make sense, I’m ready to be here for you and the journey I want us to take together. I have some exciting things planned as we get back to work. I will finally be offering free group screenings of my documentary. Hit me up if you and your group of spoonies would like to see it. Count me in for advice about how to build a culture of inclusivity in the workplace for people with autoimmune disorders (and the trauma that it has caused). I’m also always around for unofficial medical advice. My medical knowledge is not FDA approved, but I don’t promote quackery either. In fact, I can sniff out fake cures from miles away and will tell you when to RUN! 

So please reach out if you would like to brainstorm, collaborate on an event, or if you have a problem in your organization and want to talk through how to approach it. And don’t you worry – while we do the hard work of changing the world, I’ll also make sure to entertain you. My two cats are on call as backups.